this is the work.

this morning, today, all the budget is going to the internal fight.

not too sparky. sleeping a lot.

I don't want to "grey". I don't want to "dim".

but today, it's like talking to someone whose focus is just elsewhere. it's day 4 of 4 in chemo...until about 1:30pm tomorrow, when the adriamycin is all done going in. and there's a small blackout going on, to support the War Effort.

I took a compazine last night, remembering that night 3 was where I hit a bad patch last time. it is prescribed, as I say, to relieve "nausea", but also is precribed as an anti-psychotic drug.

it's nothing. but I went looking this morning to make sure my psychoses are all healthy and happy. to wit:

Something endemic,

Something systemic.

It's one more poisonous commodity to fight!

Meant for my curing,

Now I'm enduring,

hope that I won't be feeling vomity tonight!

No more of PICCs! Nothing of ports!

No more of IFEX , piped in by quarts!

Paid by insurance,

Frayed my endurance.

Long as the outcome comes out right,

Healthy guy tomorrow,

Problem child tonight!

(I rest my case...)

(ok, maybe not everyone is familiar with "Comedy Tonight", the Stephen Sondheim work I bowdlerized above. but they should be. maybe not now. but soon. and for the rest of their lives.)