end times

we don't always know when the parentheses are, that group a time in our lives and define the beginning of the next phase.

today, I do. these days are about to end, with the study beginning tomorrow.

Stewart Greisman (yes, again, get used to it) printed a copy of this article for me a bit ago:

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/A-Victory-in-the-War-Against-Cancer.html

it's startling, shocking, and way too hopeful. if you have any thirst for optimism about my fate, look it up.

the article revolves around a drug, Glievec/ Gleevec/ Imatinib/ bin - itamI (isn't he dead?) that counters leukemia by inhbiting the action of a mutant gene/ enzyme that inhibits the action of a cancer preventing gene.

no doctor has told me that this is the same approach that Nutlin-3 uses. but it's like, stop me if you've heard this one before.

Gleevec still holds the record as the drug the FDA approved the fastest ever. it was approved in 2001, has saved thousands of lives, and "turned a fatal disease into a manageable condition"; the price of it, naturally, skyrocketed.

the patient who is the primary example in the article had gotten rid of most of her possessions, was in hospice at her home, and on Dilaudid (the last easement) when she took the drug.

three weeks later she was feeling great. three months after that, she lay down next to her grave site and had her picture taken.

that was in 2000. she is still feeling great.

and probably still missing her damn possessions.

even Wikipedia, the ungoverned internet frontier encyclopedia, has no more than a paragraph about Nutlin-3. but the paragraph contains this phrase:

Nutlin-3 has been shown to affect the production of p53 within minutes.

so...wow.

minutes. it's like I'm taking Anacin or something.

they want another needle biopsy right after day 5, the day after I've finished taking the first round.

that's how soon they want to watch for change.

today is not the first day of the rest of my life. tomorrow is. not that you could call it by any means a rest...

beloved prayeramedics and cohearts, in these pixels I have not yanked your chain. there's been only the hope there has been, only the despair appropriate.

but...wow.