each succeeding demo of Good Vibrations

each succeeding take on my 80 minute cd of the "Mr. Tambourine Man" sessions

each new ten minutes of dawn

every ten miles closer on I-70 to the mountains

each new mix of a song

each six months experience with Pro Tools

every second louder of a Moody Blues cosmic fade in chord

how to describe everything getting better everyday. being aware of the improvement at the moment of awakening.

neither Advent calendars nor Hanukkah presents seem to work such that each day's present is a little better. recovery from colds happens gradually, but not usually over weeks; there's usually a day when, though we know what well is from 98 1/2% of our life, we reexperience so much more well so suddenly that we're elated.

I'm still reaching for the right analogy.

Chris was the love on my life in 1992; she taught me how utterly hip being positive actually is. I said to her, well, the decay of the body with age is a pretty well documented fact- what do you think life offers us that is beneficial to that magnitude?

she said, healing.

without healing, everything that had ever gone wrong with us would still be wrong, and have spent all that time getting worse.

without healing, the only middle age person in the world would be someone to whom through some improbable odds, no calamity or disease had ever happened.

with healing...we are all that person.

lisa's mother, Dorothy, sent me a get well card. one of the things she said was...enjoy this time. take it from one who knows.

it is indeed an infirm, annoying, boring kind of paradise. I am aware of the absence of almost all of my usual "have to's". I'm also aware of the absence of a lot of my favorite "get-to's".

Tuesday it will have been a. ten minutes, b. two weeks, c. ten years. (pick three)

I think it will be time around then to consult the doc. am I still not supposed to drive? is the anaesthesia out of my lungs? still best not to shave?

and...I'm thinking of starting to see folks...and...maybe a spot of rehearsal.

maybe a Fanny's pork burrito.

a Bruce Springsteen song played backwards, so the hero gets the girl, gets his job back, regains his faith...

"In The Year 2525" played backwards, with mankind able to become increasingly physical, and do more things for itself...

all I ever needed for analogy, though, is the increasing warmness and growing profusion and strengthening of life in these reawakening spring days. I can just ride that wave all the way in to shore.