the following is brought to you by dexamethasone, medicine's new creativity enhancing wonder drug

I want a new drug

One that don't make you pay

One that don't keep me up all night

One that don't make me sleep all day.

I want a new drug

That'll keep me alive

Where I'm not sucking Ricola, so I can't taste the e coli.

One that won't make me nervous

And Dexamethasone blue

One that makes me feel like before I got the news

That you can-cervive but you can't refuse.

I want a new drug

One that makes me feel good

Where you don't have to lose your hair

Where you don't lose your taste for food.

I want a new drug

One with no side effects

Where you don't want to blog too much

And you still feel like having sex.

One that's more copacetic, one that's more diuretic

One that's sympathetic, needs no anaesthetic

Not so damn emetic.

I want a new drug...that doesn't make me feel like a slug...don't want to have to wear a rug...tired of feeling like I just got mugged...

*necessary vocabulary:

dexamethasone is a steroid that is given IV before the Yondelis to help with nausea and taken in blue pill form for five days after; just one of its many applications...

neulasta keeps one's neutrophil (a type of white blood cell) count high enough to continue treatment much the way the Salk polio vaccine worked - by presenting the immune system with a neutralized form of e coli. better living though toxins...I was working on a verse that contained that drug name (one that won't make me fast...one that cures me faster...) but I let it go.

ricola is a swiss cough drop, with commercials featuring long alpine horns, Sound of Music backdrops, and people yodeling "Riii-colaaaa". I'm trying to yodel "Yoooon-deliiis" but haven't got it yet. ("I love to go on Yondelis, it makes me feel so wack...and as I go, I love to sing, my pump strapped to my back...)

emetic means nausea inducing. diuretic is left as an exercise for the reader.

final note...I came across this verse while researching "The Happy Wanderer:

Oh, may I go a-wandering
Until the day I die!
Oh, may I always laugh and sing,
Beneath God's clear blue sky!