closing window

Dr. Weyant will see me tomorrow morning. he gets back from vacation tonight. he is the head surgeon, who must decide if I would be a good candidate for the last chance surgery.

we saw the third guy on the Thoracic team last night.he was here for quite awhile, but added little insight.

I met Dr. Marshall last night, the second person up on the chain. she got all the information, and said she would be talking to the main guy, Dr. Weyent.

Dr. Marshall came back this morning. she said Dr. Weyent had seen the scans remotely, and...I don't know if it's her opinion or his...but she said the operation was not advised. too hard to get through. she said it wouldn't do what we needed it to, and I would probably never leave the hospital if it happened.

crushing. and soon slightly mitigated.

Dr. Leong...a friend of Dr.Gore and on duty here somehow...came in for a second and looked startled when I suggested a decision had been made...he said Dr. Gore and he would have to weigh in before a decision is made.

window cracks back open.

we emailed Dr. Gore to update her and got a response within fifteen minutes...who is this woman???...saying that conversations are continuing, and tomorrow we will have a plan.

she always says the most positive thing that can be said, without any fabrication. just the best spin. she's Derek Taylor.

the second meeting with Dr. Leong let a little more light through the cracked window.

he had dinner with Dr. Gore last night, and is going to the game with her tonight (hmmmm.) and he says she says the opera ain't over until Dr. Weyent sings tomorrow morning

that's where things will stand for the rest of today.

they decided to wait a couple of days before draining the pericardial fluid around my heart. fine with me. that doc...an elderly, well respected cardiologist, said that if a window had to be placed to drain the pericardial fluid, he would prefer Dr. Weyent do it to him doing it.

Weyent comes with God's driver's license, with his name on it. but here is more light from Dr. Leong.

I started to tell him about my preference in dying, as I said to Dr. Gore yesterday. he said, I already know what you're going to say

I hadn't thought of saying, stop me if you've heard this one before.

but he said, tell Dr. Weyant that.

he said, you can look at scans all day long. but if you come in, and the patient is way out of it, or 93 years old and frail, or seemingly doing ok and lucid and has some personal preferences and convictions...that can all influence any decision.

so the die is not yet cast, and the cast has not yet died.

and, oh, yes

there was an outcry! an outrage! a deluge!

so here's the joke, as I remember it from Stewart:

a surgeon, an MD, and an ED doc go hunting.

the surgeon goes first. hears the rustle in the bushes, sees the bird fly up. "that is a grey-tufted grouse" he says, takes aim and brings it down.

the MD is next. hears the rustle in the bushes, says, "maybe a quail, maybe a partridge, maybe just a pigeon." takes aim, and brings the bird down.

finally, the ED doc hears the rustle in the bushes, sees the bird go up. he takes aim, brings the bird down, and says, "what the hell was that?"